Artoo's Big Adventure
by Christina B
Summary: Artoo wasn't bought by the Lars, so now he must figure out how to escape the jawas and complete his mission. Alternate Universe


Disclaimer: I don't own Artoo, Threepio, Luke, Ben or any other character in this. I'm just playing in George's sandbox for awhile. I also don't own (THANKFULLY) the freakish purple lizard.

AN: This story was my response to the Dare Challenge over at the Jedi Council Forums.

This was my dare: It's an AU - the red droid didn't blow up when Luke and Owen bought him in A New Hope. You must therefore write from R2-D2's point of view as he tries to escape from the Jawas and get to Obi-Wan. There should be an element of comedy in this, and a Jawa should do a handstand at some point.  
This piece must not include the words beep, shrill or sand.  
You should also invent a new creature which R2 comes across on his travels...

**Artoo's Big Adventure**

It figured this would happen; he really should've been expecting it. At this rate his message would never be delivered. Threepio was no help at all since he was just way too happy about leaving the Jawas to think of Artoo. Now he was stuck in a rolling sandcrawler with no option of escape; at least not at this moment.

The blue and silver domed astromech droid whistled to himself as he tried to figure a way out of his maddening predicament. The smelly creatures that Threepio identified as Jawas were too crafty a species and treasured droids as their most prized possession. If only that dilapidated R5 unit would have blown a power converter or something. Then things might be very different from what they currently were.

Obi-Wan Kenobi was the reason he landed on this dry, dusty planet that had these annoyingly gritty particles that seemed to get everywhere. A chip was placed inside his barrel shaped body that told the droid that he had to make sure that nobody saw his secret message or the Death Star plans he carried, until he reached Kenobi. Artoo was one droid who wasn't going to give up without a fight.

The sandcrawler lumbered on and Artoo fretted. He was sure that if he were an organic being he would certainly have repelled any contents in his stomach. His mission could have a very grave end if he didn't escape soon.

When Artoo was finally beginning to despair, the sandcrawler finally ceased its movements. He whistled in excitement, perhaps today could be his big escape. The jawas finally arrived inside the droid holding pen and began to argue amongst themselves.

"Jub jub jub?" said one jawa pointing at a protocol droid.

"Jub jubbers," answered the jawa standing next to the first one.

"Jub jubbity jub," argued the first one.

"Jubby," agreed the second jawa.

"Jubbers?" asked the first jawa pointing at Artoo.

"Jubster juby," a third jawa commented.

Artoo sincerely wished Threepio was there.

To Artoo's great shock, he was led outside and his restraining bolt was removed. At first he didn't understand, but a few minutes later he did. Apparently the jawas decided to have a little trade with another group of jawas, for there was another sandcrawler there

with other droids lined up alongside it.

The jawas all brought together some rather peculiar looking foods and they enjoyed a feast together. Artoo had no chance of escape because other jawas were on guard.

After the jawas ended their meal there was once more a great deal of unintelligible conversation between them. Then a competition began. That was so incredibly strange that Artoo watched confused. The jawas formed a ring and one jawa per tribe stood in the very center. Then they rolled over and stood on their heads.

From what Artoo could figure, these jawas were in an endurance contest. The jawa that won would get a droid as a prize. And sure enough he was right. Both jawa tribes were hooting and hollering for their tribe mate. Even the jawas who were supposed to be guarding the droids.

Carefully and very quietly the small droid started rolling backwards and out of the jawas line of sight. Some of the other droids questioned his motives, but luckily the jawas were too distracted to notice the other commotion. A few tense minutes passed, and then Artoo whistled happily to himself. He was free.

The blazing suns of Tatooine baked the dusty dunes and a little droid plodded on to complete his daring mission. Artoo was single minded now and he tried to ignore the grit clogging his visual receptors. He knew where Kenobi would be, as the chip embedded in him told him a vague location.

Hours later Artoo was going through very rocky terrain. The droid was very nervous because the last time he was in such an area he was droidnapped. Some rocks hid caves in their shadows and others were so blazingly bright they reflected the light off the glaring suns.

Then out of nowhere he heard something. It was very quiet at first, but the sounds got louder as the creature seemed to get closer to him. It was humming some perverse tune or perhaps it was trying to communicate with him. Artoo still his movements and hid in the shadow of a large bounder.

The curious looking creature came into view and Artoo was dismayed instantly that he couldn't figure out what it was. He scanned all his databanks for anything that might meet the description of this…beast, but to no avail. He wasn't even sure if it was native to Tatooine that's how bizarre it looked.

"Hello," the beast said in basic. "Will you be my friend?"

Artoo whistled his confusion and disgust, but this strange thing didn't seem to mind. It was standing upright on flimsy looking legs. It had a layer of some sort of purple skin covering it from head to toe. What Artoo assumed was its stomach was a shade of green. It had a disturbing emotion on its reptilian face and drew closer to him.

"Little droid man, please be my friend?" the purple monstrosity asked.

Artoo pulled out his electro jabber should the creature draw too close for comfort. It did.

"I love you, you love me! We're a happy fam---,"

Artoo squealed in terror. He was sure that one of his circuits was now irrevocably destroyed. Then the beast reached for him, and Artoo thought it must be going to squeeze him to death. So the scared droid did the only thing it could in the situation. He zapped the monster's hand with his electro jabber.

"Owww!" The scary monster roared and then it burst out into big wet tears. "Why won't you play with me?" it asked.

Artoo wasn't going to listen to it any longer for he was sure it was up to no good. He jabbed it again and again while ignoring its many protests. The creature kept backing up and soon it was standing on the precipice of a cliff. At the bottom lay a kryat dragon's nest. Artoo warbled off a warning and moved backwards. He might've been terrified and upset at the creature, but he wasn't going to kill it.

Unfortunately this creature was dumber than it originally appeared. For some reason it started jumping up and down, still croaking that bizarre song. Then it tripped and fell backwards, and the strange purple reptile was no more.

Artoo whistled worriedly to himself for he knew he could very well be running out of time to successfully complete his mission. Not to mention the fact that it was very possible that agents of the Empire were now after him because of the plans he carried. Still the astromech droid was determined that nobody was going to lay a hand on him unless it was Obi-Wan Kenobi himself.

A few hours later the droid's sensors picked up something approaching. Artoo was instantly very concerned because there was no place to hide and he was sure that his silver dome would be instantly seen. The droid took out his electro jabber device just in case he needed it.

Within a minute Artoo finally saw what was coming towards him. His visual receptors told him that it was a landspeeder approaching, and that one of the passengers was Threepio. He could also clearly see that the young man who was driving it didn't look like an Imperial. The driver spotted Artoo and stopped the vehicle. The young man and Threepio went up to meet him.

"R2-D2! Where have you been?" Threepio asked.

"Well I DID have to escape the jawas," Artoo replied irritated.

The young man obviously didn't understand Artoo's form of communication. "Threepio, you know this droid?"

"Yes Master Luke, this is my counterpart R2-D2," Threepio stated.

Luke chuckled. "Well I suppose Uncle Owen should've bought you instead," he said glancing towards the backseat where the R5 unit was lying in obvious disrepair. "Why don't you come with us?"

"I can't. I must find Obi-Wan Kenobi," Artoo replied.

"You're still going on with that Obi-Wan Kenobi gibberish?" Threepio asked scathingly.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi? I wonder if he means old Ben Kenobi?" Luke asked startled.

"I beg your pardon, sir, but do you know what he's talking about?" Threepio asked.

"I don't know of an Obi-Wan, but old Ben lives beyond the Dune Sea. He's kind of a strange old hermit." Luke answered. "We better hurry back; Uncle Owen won't be pleased if I take much longer."

During the ride back to the Lars Homestead; Artoo told Threepio all about his adventures since they parted. He was concerned about completing his mission and finding Obi-Wan Kenobi, but Threepio seemed to think that they should only do what Master Luke told them too.

When they arrived Luke told his uncle that he found a new droid to replace the one that was damaged beyond repair. Owen Lars looked incredibly suspicious, but he didn't say anything more about the subject. To Artoo's great horror, the first thing that happened to him once arriving was the installment of a new restraining bolt. This wasn't good at all.

The following day Artoo was even more agitated about the fact that he was now forced to work on the moisture farm. Luke and Threepio were working in a far away field; so it was Artoo who first saw the enemy arrive.

First came the hulking shapes of three banthas, and they were being ridden by stormtroopers. The banthas were followed by a few swoop bikes and a speeder. The Imperials finally arrived and Artoo was in a VERY bad position.

The droid quickly went to Beru Lars and began telling her that she was in danger. Unfortunately she ignored him and went outside to see what the commotion was. It seemed that Owen Lars was already sharing words with the Imperials.

Artoo knew he needed to escape, but it was impossible with the placement of that restraining bolt. The he heard the sickening crunch of what he guessed to be bone followed by a scream and the sound of a blaster being fired. Then silence, but he knew that the Imperials would be looking for him.

THUD!

The droid was startled as he heard the door to the home being torn off its hinges. The following sound was that of what he supposed were stormtroopers. Seconds later he was surrounded; his mission failed.

The sound of his home being destroyed was the first indicator to Luke that something was very wrong. The young farm boy was tending to the vaporators with Threepio by his side; when he heard a loud explosion coming from the direction of his home. Horror stricken he made a dash for his landspeeder, but before he entered it something strange happened. He felt someone's hand grasp his should.

"Ben Kenobi! What are you doing here?" Luke asked.

"I'm here because you are in danger. The Empire has just destroyed your home and killed your family," the elderly man said regretfully.

"What?" Luke asked, with dawning horror. He tried to enter the speeder, but Ben held him back.

"You will be killed if you go back. Now, is there any reason the Empire might be after you?" Ben asked gently.

"Begging your pardon, but I think Artoo was carrying something. He kept talking about a mission and how it was so very important," Threepio added nervously.

Luke paled. "Artoo was left at home. The Empire must have him!"

"Then we have work to do," Ben replied calmly.

Artoo whistled to himself as he always did, but this time it was in an attempt to cure his nerves. He was now being held in a small Imperial bunker in Mos Eisley. Fortunately the secret plans hadn't been discovered yet as he was going to be analyzed as soon as he was transferred to the Death Star.

At this point it seemed incredibly hopeless that anything could save him from his terrible fate. After all Artoo's exploits it seemed unfair that it would all be for naught. If only he would've found Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Sometime later he heard something. At first he wasn't sure what it was, but it took only seconds for him to recognize it. The sound was very distant at first, but it seemed to be closer. It was many years since the droid had ever heard something like this before. He knew for sure that it was the low humming sound one always heard when there was an activated lightsaber nearby.

There was the piercing sound of blaster fire in the hallway outside his cell, but he could hear the change of frequencies the lightsaber made. The two guards standing just inside the door pointed their blasters towards the door in attack position. The sound dissipated, and the guards looked agitated and impatient. They didn't have long to wait.

A blade of blue energy made the durasteel door fall away as if it was putty. The guards immediately started firing. The lightsaber darted and the bolts were directed right back at the guards. Both dropped to the floor dead, and just inside the seared opening Artoo finally saw him.

Artoo whistled happily because he knew without a doubt that this was Obi-Wan Kenobi. His mission didn't fail after all. The droid was delighted in seeing the Jedi Master, for he now remembered him.

"Come, my friend, we must leave at once," Ben said softly.

"You found him!" Luke exclaimed dumbfounded. Ben and Artoo just arrived moments ago to the cheap housing Ben and Luke reserved for the night.

"The Empire doesn't have need for keeping their bunkers hidden. It was relatively simple from there," Ben replied taking something out of his robe and handing it to Luke.

"What is this?" Luke asked.

"Your father's lightsaber; it's time to return it to you," Ben answered.

"I don't understand," Luke said before activating the energy blade. "Why would my father have a lightsaber?"

"I was once a Jedi Knight, the same as your father. And now, you must follow in his footsteps. The Empire wouldn't have hunted down this droid unless they had a very good reason," Ben stated glancing at the droid.

Artoo took the hint and began to project the image of a young woman who began to speak at once.

"…..Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope."

It wasn't until Artoo, Ben, Luke, Threepio were safely aboard a chartered freighter called the Millenium Falcon; that Artoo finally had time to reflect on his curious exploits on Tatooine. The droid couldn't help be very pleased with himself for he finally beat the odds. And what incredible odds they were considering the adventure he just endured. With handstanding jawas, strange purple reptiles along with a droidnapping; Artoo knew for a fact he was one lucky droid.


End file.
